Sanyo Phone

12/2/91
S.F.S. Corporation
Little Ferry, NJ 07643

Dear Sanyo:

Eight or nine years ago, I purchased the enclosed “Handy Telephone, model #TH2000S” in New York City as a Christmas present for my elderly widowed mother in Florida. Since that time, I assumed many of our warm, familial phone conversations were made via the aforementioned TH2000S. However, a recent visit home revealed that I was very much mistaken. I was surprised to find the gift phone not in use, but rather, piled in a dusty old box of Jimmy Carter memorabilia. My seventy year-old mother -- who doesn’t like to make waves -- sheepishly explained that it had never worked properly and had been given up for dead, less than a month after she’d received it. Apparently, her TH2000S wouldn’t hold a charge, had extremely limited range, was vulnerable to interference from virtually anything electric, would disconnect in the middle of calls and sounded off at random intervals as if possessed by some small telecommunications demon. I was stunned. Granted, my mother should have told me at the time, but more alarming was the discrepancy between my steadfast confidence in Sanyo quality, and the abysmal performance of the TH2000S you now have in front of you. The only way I’ve been able to reconcile my cherished belief with this unpleasant experience is to assume that the incident is an isolated aberration and not a harbinger of a doomed company’s downward descent. In a world of letdowns at the hands of crooked Presidents and reckless baseball teams, of slipshod workmanship and planned obsolescence, I have always looked to Sanyo to “say it ain’t so.” Understanding that the mere mention of a warranty at this late date would be idiotic, I chose instead to place the fate of my mother’s aging Christmas gift in your just and able care. For the sake of maintaining a doddering old woman’s one link to the outside world, and to restore this consumer’s faith not only in the superiority of Japanese electronics, but also in the entire Free-Enterprise system, I implore you to seize this opportunity. Why not get into the holiday spirit and show a small part of America that it’s not wrong to believe big business has a conscience, not matter what future abominations Exxon, Dow, and Union Carbide may have in store; and that Sanyo, in particular, is -- and will always be -- a beacon of integrity whose light illuminates the happy faces of satisfied customers in all corners of the globe (even Antarctica). I feel that replacing Mom’s TH2000S with a cordless phone that works would be a small, but decisive, step in that direction. Tarry not, a chance like this may never appear again! Dare to go the extra mile. You won’t regret it!

Sincerely,

Jake Daehler


WGA Registered 2010


1/5/92
S.F.S. Corporation
Little Ferry, NJ 07643

Dear Sanyo Fixit Guys:

Boy, do you have your share of gall! I thought I had the market cornered, sending you my elderly, widowed mother’s eight-year-old piece-of-junk, “Handy TH2000S cordless phone,” which never worked properly and was retired to a box in a Florida closet within weeks of the Christmas it was intended to brighten. I realized that I didn’t have a legal leg to hop around on in terms of warranty, but I thought I might get lucky and catch you in the holiday spirit, especially since I included an unctuous, fawning letter to butter you up. I figured I’d receive something on the order of a “YES” or a “NO.” (Probably a “No,” which would have been okay.) Instead you sent me the enclosed estimate for over sixty dollars worth of work, which obviously should have been done before that lemon was stuffed into the box I optimistically purchased for approximately sixty-five dollars in the first place.

Nothing was done to the TH2000S: it wasn’t dropped, immersed, over-heated or abused in any way. The machine wasn’t really even used because it never worked, yet it apparently needed a $60.68 shot in the arm before I ever bought it. To make matters worse, the estimate said that if don’t get word to you pronto, you’ll send it back C.O.D. Wow! Why would I want to double my bad investment in a dysfunctional dinosaur when I could switch to a newer model from a more reliable company for the same money?

Anyway, I’ve just returned from a visit with my mother, who – luckily -- is not a big grudge holder, and I found your estimate, so I’m hurriedly responding before my deadline arrives. I have no intention of coughing up another nickel, so please don’t send my broken-down disgrace-of-a-phone back because I certainly won’t pay the C.O.D. I’d urge you to throw it in the nearest river were it not for the pollution factor. Why not recycle it or use it as a paperweight? Please forgive me if I never buy another Sanyo product even if I live to be 800 years old, but I am not now -- nor do I ever expect to be -- rich enough to flush money down the toilet.

Sincerely,

Jake Daehler


WGA Registered 2010