Lufthansa Airlines

3/23/93
Lufthansa Airlines
New York, NY 10022--1208

Dear Lufthansa,

This is a “Thank You” note. Normally, my wife writes the “Thank You” notes and I write the “You-bastards-better-honor-my-warranty” letters. The only time I've ever written to an airline was years ago when one of your competitors tried to weasel out of reimbursing me some money by sending a coupon for “travel credit.” Usually I can smell a bad deal when I step in one, so I wouldn’t have accepted their offer, even if it weren’t crystal clear that this particular carrier was about to go the way of the Buffalo. I wasn’t even mad that I had to sit in the Fort Lauderdale Airport for six hours while their crackerjack ground crew sauntered feverishly around the Sunshine State scavenging for a wing de-icer. They stunk and everyone knew it, but the fares were cheap and who really expects to have an easy time on a plane trip? People who’ve flown Lufthansa, that’s who!

On our honeymoon, my wife and I flew your wonderful airline to Greece. It’s true what they say - you guys have this transportation thing down! Achtung! On-time departure, attentive flight-attendants, comfy seats, free drinks (even in coach!), good food, great animated progress reports that let us know how close we were to Halifax, as well as scores of other characteristically German statistics such as wind speed, miles flown, miles to go, elapsed time, local time, New York time and German time. We also got a kick out of the multi-lingual warning (with illustration) to never flush bottles or silverware down the toilet. If aliens ever visit Earth, I don’t want them knowing that anyone ever tried to flush spoons and forks. All this is my way of saying that, thanks to you, our marriage got off on the right wing. Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,

Jake Daehler

P.S. All the German people we met on the Greek islands kept changing their clothes ... and right out in the open ... underwear and everything! Is this a national pastime or do you guys just get crazy when you’re on vacation?

WGA Registered 2010