Letter to a Casting Director

2/5/89
Casting
ABC Television Center
Los Angeles, CA 90027

Dear Mr. Page:

I'm writing this because someone I trust spoke very highly of you...but for some reason, I can't remember who it was. I frequently forget where I've put my gym bag but I always manage to find it, so maybe by the end of this letter, I'll have that name for you. In the meantime, let me tell you some stuff about myself. For the past six years, I've been in New York City studying acting and earning my living doing commercials, industrial films and plays. It's true that I'm WASPY looking, however, I can play a wide range of roles. I've enclosed two current headshots for your perusal. The lighter of the two seems to be more popular (although I personally feel that the visible whites below the pupils in my eyes make me look like I'm about to assassinate a world leader). I like the dark, less conventional photo better, though I realize that the background makes me look like some sort of magician. If I had my druthers, all photos (driver license, passport, high school and college graduation shots included) would be taken with me sitting on a pony, but of course, that's unprofessional.

Here are some things that my resume won't tell you about me:

I like J. D. Salinger's books a lot, even though I don't think I'd ever want to meet him.

I actually own two leisure suits (one powder blue and one rust - the rust one was a gift from my mother who lives in Florida).

I had a classmate in second grade named Chester Esther who used to spit a lot.

If there is a Hell, and if by some cruel cosmic mistake I end up there, and if in Hell I have my own custom-tailored jukebox to torment me throughout all eternity, these four songs will be on it:
(1.)"Boom Boom Boom, Let's Go Back To My Room;"
(2.)"You Decorated My Life;"
(3.)"Dear Mister Jesus;"
(4.)"Sometimes When We Touch, The Honesty's Too Much."

By this time you're probably wondering how all this information relates to you? I'll tell you. The other day I was sitting around thinking about Horace Greeley, who once told somebody - possibly Horace Mann -- to "Go West!" I thought about that for a while and it just made sense, so that's what I'm doing. That's right, I'm moving to California and that's where you come in ... No I don't need you to help me move ... but thanks. What I will need you to do is keep me in mind for any and all projects you think would be right for a guy like me: someone who eats all the food on his plate (even the Lima beans).

Well... I still can't remember who it was who told me you were a-okay, but I know it was someone I trust... so I'll just leave it at that. Thanks for your indulgence and I hope this letter finds you healthy and happy. I look forward to meeting you.


Sincerely,

Jake Daehler

WGA Registered 2010